Recently when I put Evan to bed we go over how he and Mia are related. I usually have to explain how they are cousins. He mostly closes his eyes and shakes his head and says wait I just don't get it. Well tonight as I was explaining I used the example of his 1/2 brother. He is not related to me so he isn't related to Mia (not her cousin.) This brought up the topic of his visits. He asked me if he still had to go. When I said yes, he frowned and said he didn't want to go and he wanted his first daddy to go away and his second daddy to be is only daddy (me too Evan, me too.) He said he didn't like going to the visits, his little (2 1/2 year old) brother is mean. He said he hits me and punches me in the stomach and I tell but he doesn't get in trouble and I don't want to go anymore. Do I have to go. I wish I could say no but I can't. Yes, Evan you still have to go. What if you just don't take me? What would happen? I don't know, I'd get in trouble. Can't we just stop. There is a loop hole in our custody agreement. If he misses 2 consecutive visits all visits will be cancelled. He visits the 1st and 3rd Saturday of the month and at times has missed 1 but not 2 in a row. I have often wondered what God is doing in this situation. I know that there is a big picture here I just don't see all of it. I got some of the pieces but not all of them. Faith! yep I'm walking by it. I do know this God has given Evan a daddy. Not one that shares a blood relation but one who loves him, cares for him and is a mirror to. He is a great role model and they are so much alike I often forget they haven't been in each others lives for ever. Bryan and I have had the conversation that we both think God was preparing Bryan for Evan long before he knew him and I believe that to be the truth. We know God listens to little kids and I pray he listens to mine.
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