Nose picker

Mia: (slaps Evan's hand) Evan don't pick your nose! Auntie I told Evan not to pick his nose, is that a good girl?

Me: Yes Mia, he shouldn't pick his nose.

Mia: Evan if you pick your nose it will bleed.

Evan: No, your nose bleeds because it's dry. I pick my nose and it has never bleeded. I pick it cause it's dry.

Mia: Hummm

Me: Mia do you pick your nose?

Mia: ummm sometimes. (To Evan) I don't even know how to pick my nose Evan.

Evan: (showing her) You stick your finger up your nose like this and feel around for the dry stuff then you just scratch it out. It doesn't bleed cause you got to get that dry stuff out, like this.

At least he doesn't eat it!! But I think I need to keep Kleenex with me at all times!!!

feeling sorry

Mom, I feel sorry for dad.

Why?

Cause he has to go to work at night and he doesn't get to sleep a lot and he doesn't get to go to church on time.

Oh, that's nice of you.

Mom, I feel sorry for you too.

WHY?

Cause you left your phone at church and now you can't talk to anyone.

Pumpernickels

Evan, "Mom do you have any more pumpernickels?"

Me, "what are pumpernickels?"

Evan, "I don't know, but do you have any?"

Me, "no."